Irish Medical Dictionary

Artery – The study of paintings
Bacteria – Backdoor to cafeteria
Barium – What doctors do when patients die
Benign – What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean section – A neighbourhood of Rome
Catscan – Searching for kitty
Cauterize – Made eyecontact with her
Coma – A puntuationmark
Dilate – To live long
Enema – Not a friend
Fester – Quicker than someone else
Fibula – A small lie
Impotent – Distinguished, well known
Labour pain – Getting hurt at work
Medical staff – A doctors cane
Morbid – A higher offer
Nitrates – Cheaper than dayrates
Node – I knew it!
Outpatient – A person who has fainted
Pelvis – Second cousin to Elvis
Post operative – A letter carrier
Recovery room – Place to do upholstery
Rectum – Nearly killed him
Secretion – Hiding something
Seizure – Roman emperor
Tablet – A small table
Terminal illness – Getting sick at airport
Tumour – One plus one more
Urine – Opposite of you're out